The danger of misplaced modifiers
Oct. 28th, 2008 08:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
CNN's front page currently has a sentence that makes me cry inside:
"Though previously Democratic, McCain's supporters see Pennsylvania as a potential swing state with just six days to go."
McCain's supporters are previously Democratic???
And, Pennsylvania is a state with just six days to go? What will it be after then??
I am secretly posting this, not because I think you're interested, but so I have access to this sentence next time I try to convince a student that misplaced modifiers are a bad idea.
"Though previously Democratic, McCain's supporters see Pennsylvania as a potential swing state with just six days to go."
McCain's supporters are previously Democratic???
And, Pennsylvania is a state with just six days to go? What will it be after then??
I am secretly posting this, not because I think you're interested, but so I have access to this sentence next time I try to convince a student that misplaced modifiers are a bad idea.
Re: as it was before, so it shall be again
Date: 2008-10-28 09:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 03:10 am (UTC)OTOH, it can be hard to reorder sentences well. Writers have lots of constraints to balance.
I prefer:
"Though previously Democratic, Pennsylvania is seen by McCain's supporters as a potential swing state, with just six days to go."
although I dislike using the passive here.
It would be interesting to make programs that help authors rewrite awkward sentences. As input, you'd give something like:
(1) Pennsylvania{PA} was previously Democratic
(2) In spite of (1), McCain's supporters see [PA] as a potential swing state
and ask if it's possible put all this into one clear, graceful sentence. For some reason, people dislike short sentences like (1).
no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 06:00 am (UTC)(I'd love to throw in 6 links but it's late; do the googling yourself)
That sentence
I would prefer a slightly reordered version of
Re: That sentence
Date: 2008-10-30 11:16 am (UTC)I could go for something like "Just six days away from the election, McCain's supporters see previously Democratic Pennsylvania as a potential swing state." However, a news organization would never want the less relevant info (6 days) before the news (swing state).