The danger of misplaced modifiers

[qatarperegrine]

CNN's front page currently has a sentence that makes me cry inside:

"Though previously Democratic, McCain's supporters see Pennsylvania as a potential swing state with just six days to go."

McCain's supporters are previously Democratic???

And, Pennsylvania is a state with just six days to go? What will it be after then??

I am secretly posting this, not because I think you're interested, but so I have access to this sentence next time I try to convince a student that misplaced modifiers are a bad idea.

Comments

Re: as it was before, so it shall be again

[stepleton.livejournal.com]

It seems to me that commonwealths are just states that choose to call themselves commonwealths.

[gustavolacerda.livejournal.com]

heehee. I sympathize.

OTOH, it can be hard to reorder sentences well. Writers have lots of constraints to balance.

I prefer:
"Though previously Democratic, Pennsylvania is seen by McCain's supporters as a potential swing state, with just six days to go."

although I dislike using the passive here.

It would be interesting to make programs that help authors rewrite awkward sentences. As input, you'd give something like:
(1) Pennsylvania{PA} was previously Democratic
(2) In spite of (1), McCain's supporters see [PA] as a potential swing state

and ask if it's possible put all this into one clear, graceful sentence. For some reason, people dislike short sentences like (1).

[aristopheles.livejournal.com]

Well some of Obama's supporters were previously Republican!
(I'd love to throw in 6 links but it's late; do the googling yourself)

That sentence

[shmuelisms.livejournal.com]

That sentence is mind-boggling bad! I tend to make mistakes of this kind, with my highly qualified draw-out compound sentences (like this one ;-)), so I pay attention to fix them. But this? WOW. It took me a good while to parse it at all.

I would prefer a slightly reordered version of gustavolacerda's sentence:

"Pennsylvania, previously considered Democratic, is seen by McCain's supporters as a potential swing state, with just six days to go."

Or put the final clause up front, to get it "out of the way", of the main content of the sentence. Any comments on what would be preferable?

Re: That sentence

[qatar.livejournal.com]

I think "With just six days to go," is technically a dangling modifier no matter where it's placed in the sentence. What is it that has six days to go? The sentence never says.

I could go for something like "Just six days away from the election, McCain's supporters see previously Democratic Pennsylvania as a potential swing state." However, a news organization would never want the less relevant info (6 days) before the news (swing state).