Kept woman

[qatarperegrine]

I am in Qatar on a family visa, not a work visa. The following is the list I was just given of documents I am required to submit in order to get a labour permit:

• a copy of my passport


• two passport-size photos


• a copy of my job offer letter


• a copy of my CV (resume)


• copies of my college diplomas


• a copy of my sponsor's ID card -- that's foobart


• a letter from my sponsor -- that's foobart again -- stating that he does not object to my having a job.

Say what?

Comments

Hey!

[foobart.livejournal.com]

Get back in the kitchen! And where'd you find those shoes? ;)

Re: Hey!

[qatar.livejournal.com]

See what I have to contend with, readers? ;-)

Re: Hey!

[ravensword.livejournal.com]

See...that's the kind of thing I'd have a problem with (not the husband...the attitude behind the issue). While I'd love the opportunity to live and work in a foreign country, getting treated that way would drive me crazy!

You have my utmost respect for being willing to.

Re: Hey!

[qatar.livejournal.com]

I raise my eyebrows sometimes, but it doesn't drive me crazy at all. If something like this happened in the U.S., I'd be up in arms, but this isn't my country; it's up to the Qataris, not me, to decide what kind of social system they want. I can't say I agree with every aspect of political and social life here, but I deeply respect the way this nation is trying to forge a path that unites its people's religious and cultural heritage with the best it finds in Western culture.

The phrase I read over and over, in describing why the Muslim world has not bought into the cultural concepts we sometimes wish they would, is that Western modernism is here viewed as a cultural experiment whose results have not yet been tabulated. The West's emphasis on individual freedoms is a fairly new and somewhat culturally specific phenomenon; over the course of human history it seems more normative for families and communities to have a larger role in individuals' decision making. Take the example of choosing a spouse: in the 21st century West it seems self-evident that young people should choose their own life partners on the basis of their feelings, but that has not been the actual experience of a majority of people on the planet. (And let's not forget this is true of Europe as well as other parts of the world -- I read Jane Eyre this week, whose chief drama comes from a marriage arranged by Mr. Rochester's father.) And do we really have evidence that decisions made by individuals are better than those made by families or communities? There is some concern here that too much emphasis on individual decision-making -- e.g. letting women decide if they want to work, rather than having the decision be made by their whole family -- neglects the commonweal. I'm certainly not saying I agree, but I can see where this frame of mind could come from.

And, of course, please don't think I'm saying that the women here are mindless automatons who like to do whatever their families tell them to. I overheard quite a lively conversation among the freshwomen two weeks ago on what kind of marriage partner they are looking for, and what nationality of mate is most likely to let them pursue their careers. (I might add that no non-Arab nationalities came up, though; these women want a husband who will respect them, but they do not want to violate the prohibition on marrying a non-Muslim.) But Western ideals are certainly being inspected one by one here, not adopted wholesale, and I hope we as well as they will find that process a fruitful one.

[canyonwren.livejournal.com]

Does this imply that you couldn't even come to that country to potentially work without a male sponser? Could your sponser be female?

[qatar.livejournal.com]

Sure, I could come here to work without a male sponsor. If I'd been (officially) hired in the U.S. to come here to do this job, my sponsor would be the Qatar Foundation, the umbrella organization under which this university falls. However, because I got the job late in the game, I'm officially here as foobart's wife who coincidentally has been hired as a local. Thus, my husband is my sponsor. I couldn't have a female sponsor, because my sponsor would always either be the company that hired me or the family member who has been hired, i.e. my spouse. (And in Qatar, my spouse could never be a member of the same sex.)

For what it's worth, this is a BETTER situation than in the U.S. If we were Qatari and foobart had been invited to the U.S. on an H1B visa (which is the equivalent of what he has here), I would be granted an H4 visa, which means I wouldn't be allowed to work in the U.S. at all. So it's not like the U.S. promotes spousal equality among immigrants! (And same-sex relationships are likewise unacknowledged for visa purposes.)

[canyonwren.livejournal.com]

Ah! Interesting comparison. It puts things in perspective, definitely.

Have fun in your job, by the way! (If foobart lets you work, that is. ;-)